• Ultralight Jerk

Report: New Guy In The Office Has Stickers On His Water Bottle




Fort Wayne, IN - This week employees of Washington Financial Group reported that a new hire showed up on his first day of work carrying a 1L Nalgene bottle with stickers on it.


"I think I saw an REI sticker" commented a junior project manager who had backpacked the Appalachian Trail through Shenandoah National Park last year. "But the other stickers on his bottle weren't as recognizable."


The small accounting firm is typically filled with clean cut people driving sensible economy sedans, and the injection of mountain town character seems to have ruffled a few feathers.


"I think one of the stickers said 'the mountains are calling, and I have to go'" said an anonymous worker with a guffaw. "Sounds like Kevin is going to actually try to use his PTO."


It is yet to be seen if the new, unconventional employee will fit in at WFG, but as the day wound down 3 workers could be seen squinting out the front window, trying to read the stickers on the back of his Subaru Outback as he headed home for the evening.


"Is that Backcountry sticker?" commented one of the lookie-loos. "I've seen enough. Fuck that guy."

2:02 PM

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