• Ultralight Jerk

Hero Maps Clitoris Using Caltopo

FLORIDA - What was once considered a daunting navigational challenge, may become a casual encounter thanks to one man's selfless life project.

A Florida researcher has completed his 30 year long project to create the worlds first 7.5 Minute Topographic Quadrangle map of the clitoris and the surrounding, greater metropolitan area.

"I have spent the last thirty years buried in my work," Dr. Arnold Johnson told ULJ Reporters over a box lunch on Tuesday. "For far too long, those who dared to explore the northern tip of the nether regions lacked the tools to successfully navigate. We've lost countless men to unmarked crevasses and hazards. Clitopo changes everything," he added.

Dr. Johnson used unprecedented techniques combining advanced radar and laser mapping technology as well as "quite a bit" of personal field survey in order to generate what has become the world's most detailed spacial model of the female genitalia.

In a joint statement, Dr. Johnson and Matt Jacobs, the Mastermind behind the popular mapping software Caltopo, announced that Clitopo would be added as a new mapping layer for the tool in Q1 of 2020.

"We are pleased to announce that Caltopo will be hosting Dr. Johnson's Clitopo map set. Since we began in 2010, it has always been Caltopo's mission to provide the public with the most powerful mapping software possible. This isn’t just lip service, we truly hope that Clitopo allows explorers to go where no man has gone before," Jacobs said.

ULJ has been given beta access to The ClitMap on Caltopo and all we can say is, "ohhh".

In addition to clearly marked critical waypoints, the map layer also supports enhanced slope angle shading, land management boundaries and sun exposure data layers that you would expect on other maps within Caltopo.

Further proving that there is always an “an app for that,” Dr. Johnson plans to release iOS and Android apps in late 2020 which will provide offline GPS navigation and guidance.