• Ultralight Jerk

Fucking Loser Camps Alone

Updated: Dec 10, 2019



OHIO - A longtime embedded journalist from ULJ has uncovered what we think, may be the most salacious story in the outdoor community this year.


ULJ has obtained reports that a fucking loser camped alone.


A bystander gave the following recount of the discovery to ULJ, "I came around the corner after a long day of hiking and noticed a single tent setup down in a stand of trees. Everything immediately felt off about the situation. The air went still, the hair on the back of my neck stood straight. Then I saw him. I couldn't believe it!"


The hiker, whom we are protecting the identify of, was indeed, camping alone.


"It was not so much what was happening that bothered me," said an onlooker. "It was more what was not happening. No laughter, no campfire, no photos being taken. Nothing," he lamented.


We here at ULJ certainly don't condone this behavior. Look, we don't know everyone's story, but who does that?





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